She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Don't make out with my wife yet
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Of course I have a pirate flag
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
