If you die in college, do you die in real life?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
