is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
