Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
It's blow job season.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
