Your mouth is God's brothel.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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