Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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