Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
