Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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