My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
