i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
