I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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