yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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