My first STD was from a foam party
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
