Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Girls should come with a carfax report
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
