We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
