needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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