At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize