Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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