the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
operation harelip BJ is a go
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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