I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
