how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize