I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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