lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize