It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
