break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize