what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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