You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
