oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
