since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I love you.
Bad choice
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