apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
