the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
