College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize