is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
