Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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