you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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