this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
