Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
