so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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