i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
