He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
