If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize