do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
