giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
