Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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