i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
