She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize