no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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