Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
