He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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