I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm too high and old for this...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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