he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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