Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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