Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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