Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
