your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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