Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
