I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
