covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
