The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize