so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
