I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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