hell yes lets make some ravioli
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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