I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
