HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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