I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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