i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize