I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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