Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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