Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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