why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
