My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Randomize
