He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
