It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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