So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
