He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize